An open letter to the parent of a son

Dear Parent, I am also a parent like you, only that I have a 9-year old daughter, unlike you who has a son. But, let me tell you, we have something in common, we both are parents of children who are growing up in a world that is not so good.

I have learnt and am learning ways to bring up my daughter in this world where a girl can be raped irrespective of her age. I have sensitized her about good touch and bad touch. I have given her few tips to protect herself. But, then I am also aware that it takes two hands to clap. So, I request you to extend your hand too.

Dear Parent, if you are the person who belongs to lower class who is not exposed to this medium of communication, I hope this letter reaches you through someone. I am sure you are struggling to make ends meet, to provide proper meals to your son. But, if it is not too much to ask for, please do not leave your son astray. You might be toiling at a construction site or at a farm for entire day, but in your struggle to make ends meet, if you could find time to produce to a son, hopefully you can find time to sensitize him about respecting women. You need not develop in him the decency to offer his seat in a bus to a woman, but if you can the least ask him not to violate a woman’s personal space, it will be great of you. Please tell your son to not fantasize the content he saw in a movie.  Beware him that words like ‘chikni’, ‘munni’ and ‘baby doll’ sound good only in the darkness of the movie hall, not outside. If you are a father, please respect his mother in front of him. Your limbs might be stiff from day’s work and you may resort to drinking to relieve your body from the physical pain, but please do not get drunk if you cannot restrain yourself from beating up his mother in front of him.

Dear Parent, if you are the person who belongs to middle class, who works in a company, small or big, and comes home at nightfall past your son is asleep, please check yourself.  You are very good parent, You are working your butt off to send your son to the best school in town, to impart good education in him. But redefine the word education for yourself. Your son is not educated only if he has a good degree and job in his hands. Please educate him about importance of women in this society. Please educate him to respect the other sex. Please tell him that getting attracted to a female is a normal characteristic  of a male. But, there is a proper age, time and way to get sex. Please tell him that a woman is not merely a device to satisfy sexual desire, but a lot more than that. Please educate him to use the gadget you have bought for him in the right way. Tell him that there are too many things in world wide web that are bad. Tell him that watching movies berating women will not do any good to him. Tell him that watching such movies will affect his hormones in a wrong way and influence him in a wrong way. Please know that it is better to talk to him openly; in today’s world you know that your son can get exposed to sex in many ways, better you teach him in the right way.

Dear Parent, if you are the person who belongs to rich class, and can stash money and provide the best of houses, cars and gadgets to your son, I do not have any problem. We all earn and expect to provide the best for our children. However, please understand that the best is not directly measured in terms of money, the best might be the personal time you spend with your son as a parent.  Please spend time with your son.Teach your son to value the hard-earned money. But again, If your son does not have respect and value for material possessions, that might be fine. But, teach him to value and respect a woman. Tell him clearly, woman is not a possession.

Dear Parent, you might be that parent who gave birth to girls in a row expecting an heir to carry your name. You might belong to any class in this patriarchal society.

But, do not ill-treat your daughter in front of your son. Remember that you needed a woman to get that heir.

Dear Parent, as I said in the beginning it takes two hands to clap. It takes two, a man and a woman to build this society. Please treat them equally.

4 thoughts on “An open letter to the parent of a son

  1. It does take two hands to clap. It does take both men and women to build this world. So I ask, why is it only men that shouldn’t hit? Don’t you think that being beaten by someone 20 times your size on a regular basis might create the fear and distrust that lead to hate and violence?

    If we want to end violence against women, we must teach women not to hit children.

    1. absolutely right. However, I was particularly referring to a father beating mother in front of a child. I totally agree with you that beating a child is worst way to teach them. And as parents both father and mother should execute patience in bringing up their child.

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